Self care doesn’t always feel good.
Self care doesn’t always look like a luxurious to do list, i.e.
- Light candles
- Take a bath
- Apply face mask
Sometimes the self care you really need looks like this.
- Let go of toxic people
- i.e. “friends”, boyfriends/girlfriends
- Finish school assignments
Plant some different seeds. Water them with care.
The most dreaded advice is to give things time.
I know. I’ve been there.
Goofy haircuts. Breakouts. Heartache. Bad weather.
YouTube influencers will push anything, from gummies and pills to serums and oils, “guaranteed” to give you longer luxurious locks, and to clear your face overnight, but all it really takes is time.
People will tell you what to do to move on and forget someone right this second, because instant gratification just looks so shiny. The biggest tip that nobody will mention? The only way to get through your emotions is to feel them. Give it time. Just be.
Plenty of people are using this time to put their happiness on hold, because things aren’t perfect, “yet“. Time that should be spent living is spent waiting for a perfectly clear face, for the next love of their life to sweep them off of their feet, and for the rain to stop.
What if instead, you take pictures of your goofy self to laugh at later? Enjoy your own company. Invest in your mind. Fill it up with new books, different perspectives, a change in music, and new aspirations. Love the skin your mama gave you. Enjoy being a party of one. Dance in the rain, and enjoy the damn ride.
You weren’t made to let life pass you by.
For far too long, I’ve let myself believe that self-acceptance & happiness can only be achieved once I reach a certain weight, once I’ve got the right amount of active followers, once I start eating nothing but fruit and pretzels, once I have the newest phone, & once I have the shiny-picture-perfect love life.
When we see these shiny couples, Instagram models, and influencers plastered everywhere, we fail to acknowledge something huge. With the vast amount of rich & sad people, you think we’d realize it…you are the one in charge of your happiness. You are the one who dictates your worth. Not your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your teacher, your parents, your bank account, not even the amount of likes, follows, comments, or retweets lighting up your phone every two seconds.
It is all you.
Self-love can’t be bought. It stems from self-acceptance. It’s your very own foundation. Everything else builds off of this. It can’t be built off of what others think of you, hence the word self.
The mantra to carry through the rest of 2019 – “Just be.” Vienna
Please stop punishing yourself for not being the perfect person you think you need to be. Be a friend, not an enemy, to yourself.
Allow yourself to be happy with the person you are right now. You are allowed to love yourself, even as you work towards a better you.
“…love and honor yourself. You are perfect just the way you are, because you are alive in this moment.” – Living a Life of Awareness, Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.
Self care is not always just bubbly baths. Self care is showering the stress of the day off, moisturizing your skin, and smiling in the mirror. It’s brushing your teeth, your hair, and the negativity off of your shoulders. It’s finishing up assignments that you know are due, instead of leaving them for a future you to finish. It’s cleaning up your surroundings, eating good filling meals, drinking water, unclenching your jaw, your muscles, and letting go of the pressures that you keep putting on yourself.
- Friendly reminder to breathe, to be in this moment.
- Chances are the stress you’re feeling is rooted from the past, or what may happen in the future.
- Be here, be present.
Let’s cover something uncomfortable. Acne.
Hollywood glamorizes those with (1) an amazing complexion, (2) the perfect teeth, and those with (3) the ‘perfect’ body. We’re all convinced that boys must have a firm body build, and that girls must have either a super thin or thick figure to be considered attractive. No in-betweens.
1. There’s this thing called hormones.
2. Perfect teeth come from one of two things:
3. Everyone is built differently, and the shitty paradigm you have of yourself is coming from comparing yourselves to others.
We all have this false sense of shame built into us if we don’t look like that.
You know that your physical appearance isn’t everything, right? It’s hypocritical of me to say that, considering how long I’ve spent looking in the mirror pointing out the things “wrong” with my body, and my blemishes to the point where my confidence has gone completely downhill.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m learning to love myself now. Of course there are days of difficulty, seeing other girls with perfect bodies, perfect complexions and zero effort.
The people with clear skin— probably have only had one small blemish in their whole lives—will say, “Jeez, why don’t you just wash your face?”
I can PROMISE you, that people with acne have a cleaner face than you do. We’ve all scrubbed our faces raw one time or another in hopes of curing acne.
We’ve all directed our energy towards “fixing” our skin, “fixing” our body types, instead of learning to love it. Now, when I say fixing, I’m not telling you to stop working out to improve your body. Go for it. The “fixing” I’m talking about is going door to door to find the cure to acne. I’m talking about scrubbing your skin raw. Stop trying 10 products every week. Your body is already trying to deal with the bacteria from the acne, but now you’re making it deal with all of these chemicals!!
Let your skin breathe. I’m talking about buying all of these meal preps because you’ve let a scale deem you incapable of making food. Eat like a human, and you’ll feel like a human. I promise you.
I’m blessed to have the skin I have. I’m blessed to be built the way I am. I came from my beautiful hardworking mother. My mom gave me the ability to radiate positivity. My dad gave me slight red highlights that glow when I’m in the sun.
You’ve gotta quit wishing you looked like the next girl. Stop wishing you looked like the next guy. As cheesy as it sounds, you’ll be so much happier when you realize there’s only one you.
How to deal w/ acne:
1. Stop looking at it.
a. Take your mirrors down, n’ you wont even know its there, because you wont be looking at it, you wont be able to!
b. A big problem of mine was Snapchat. I was always looking at it, ending with me picking at it and making things worse.
2. Stop picking at it.
a. Gosh, you don’t even know I used to be addicted !!
Have this realization:
I didn’t cure my acne. I’m still dealing with the little guys.
I’m not here to hold up a bottle and tell you how much to wash your face.
I’m here to tell you that acne is a part of life.
Life has always been hard, as I’m sure you already know.
It hasn’t been easy, it never will be.
You have to realize that there are plenty of things to worry about rather than acne. Focus on telling your mom you love her. Discover yourself. Try different things. Start doing what you love. Meet different people. Work at yourself daily. Go outside and explore more. Remind your friends that you love them. Focus on getting your schoolwork done and living a happy life because with or without acne, life is what you make it.